The final chapter

I met these two girls on the beach in Malawi and we played together for ages while their mothers were washing clothes. I had gone for a walk down the beach to get away from the racket emanating from the ipod with speakers that one of our crew has brought with him, and these two girls ran up to me effervescing with excitement, so I said hello to them and though we couldn’t speak any of the same language the universal language of seaweed throwing soon had effect. They were laughing and giggling as we played catch together…The little one was really good at catching but really encouraging of the taller one who kept dropping it! I guess its not often that random muzungus stop to play with them…and I was loving it as much as they were!

After our camping by the beach we moved on to Lilongwe – the capital of Malawi – and camped there for two nights. After the first night the manager of the campsite (An English lady) came and asked Tracy if she knew the people that were camping over by the fence. Tracy said yes, it was our friends Rhod and Karen (the Welshies who we had become quite attached to). At this point the conversation went something like this:
Manager: “Oh right, just because they have pitched their tent on Christina’s hole.”
Tracy: “Who’s Christina?”
Manager: “Oh, she’s a baboon spider.”
Tracy thinks to herself…this spider is not only big enough to have a name but also to live in a hole.
Tracy: “So how big is Christina?”
Manager (nonchalantly): “About the size of your hand. She’s an endangered species and I usually say good morning to her as I walk past…but this morning I couldn’t see her hole, so I’m pretty sure your friends have got their tent on top of the hole. I guess they might want to move it.”
Tracy: “Yes, right, I’ll let them know as soon as they wake up.

Though of course the temptation to wake them up is too much to resist, so a small group of us go over and call out, ”Karen, are you awake?” She pokes her head out and we explain the situation which she just thinks must be a wind-up. Eventually they both realise we are not kidding and with a look of stunned disbelief Karen leaps from the tent and Rhod follows a few mins later! They drag the tent back, and sure enough there’s the hole and no spider to be seen…of course there is a slight concern as to her whereabouts and whether she is clinging to the bottom of the tent or not!

Later on when it was dark, the managers husband had told us he would tease the spider out, in the way he had been shown by an Australian spider expert, but on his failing to turn up, Callum and I went over and while Callum was exceedingly brave with a red torch and a stick, I was busy getting fantastic wildlife footage (from a suitable distance using my camera’s incredibly handy zoom!!) And Christina was indeed the BIGGEST spider I have ever seen. She was the size of a hand at least! Unfortunately when we got back to our tent later that night there was a baboon spider size hole in the zip, so until that point we really hadn’t minded being the next closest tent to the hole…but it didn’t make for a great nights sleep! It wasn’t actually that I was scared of the spider but more of the larium dreams that I have been having and the fact that they would probably feature Christina that night.

The next few days in brief involved a bush camp in Mozambique – I will give private explanations of bush toilets to anyone brave enough to ask for one, but I want to keep this blog suitable for bedtime reading. Crossed into Zimbabwe, lost the Welshies, gained a couple of newbies, and had a fancy dress party to welcome them – I only just managed to stop one of them from leaving there and then!
Remembering that we are getting continual warnings from various parents about the civil war in Zimbabwe, we went into Harare the next day, bought food and then watched a film. Didn’t even have to dodge any gunfire

The day after I got lost in the Great Zimbabwe Ruins…just stopped to take a picture and the group had disappeared! I wandered around lots of walls and eventually heard Tracy calling me. It was quite an exciting adventure!

We moved onto Antelope Park which has not only been the best campsite we have been to for amenities, but also the coldest! During the day, temperatures were probably around 28 degrees, and at night they drop below freezing! Now this is all very well if you have a blanket and are well, but add a fever and diarrhoea into the equation and you end up with uncontrollable shaking from head to toe and a very uncomfortable nights sleep. I have had some kind of stomach bug again, and at midnight on that particular night, after an hour of uncontrollable shivers, I informed Tracy that I was dying. I had malaria, tuberculosis and Bilharzias disease and probably wouldn’t make it to the morning. She gave me half of her blanket.

Four days later I am right-as-rain, you’ll be pleased to know!
In the days when I wasn’t ill at Antelope Park we actually had an incredibly exciting schedule. I walked with lions, stroked them, played with lion cubs, rode an elephant (never again – I have NEVER been so uncomfortable in my life!) and went on a sunset boat cruise. Tracy and I were the only people on the cruise because everyone else was planning to do the booze cruise in Victoria Falls and the thought of being trapped on a boat with the rest of our compatriots blind-drunk didn’t appeal to us. It was incredible to watch the sun go down over the river with the fish eagles watching on and the cormorants nesting down for the night with their babies.

In the next campsite we upgraded for the night – it only cost us $3 each to get a bed and was much appreciated. We went to see the rhinos in Matopos Park – unfortunately only white ones, though there are black ones there but the rangers don’t like to take people close to them as they can be skittish and potentially violent. We got really close to the white ones though – even a mother and baby which was very sweet.

Now we are in Victoria Falls and we watched some people bungy jumping yesterday, without the slightest urge to join them! Tomorrow I will be flying over the Falls in a microlight which I am very excited about! Then we will explore them from the Zimbabwe side, go across to the Zambia side for two nights and THEN WE’RE COMING HOME!!! We are flying on 2nd August and will be back on the 3rd – hurray!

Addendumb (sic) : We are in fact NOT going to Zambia for two nights because we do not in fact fly from the airport in Zambia…we have just had a narrow escape…almost turned up at the wrong airport and would have been told we were in the wrong country! Why does Vic Falls have to have two international airports? Its so small!!

Where am I?

The problem with this trip is that we go from one place to another so fast that I often haven’t got a clue where I am. But we are spending four nights here…in Malawi – camping right by the lake, so I have nearly got the hang of that! When I say lake you will probably be imagining a still shining surface of water across which you can see land, when in fact it is far more like being by the sea. The wind is howling and the waves are crashing, and when I went for a swim yesterday I was nearly knocked over by one, they were that strong. Needless to say, I was the only one swimming…

However, the waves are good from one point of view. If the water is moving there is far less likely to be any bilharzias parasites floating around in it. After reading about it in the guide book, I decided there was no way I was swimming – snails that live on reeds eject these parasites and then they swim up and squirm their way under your skin and you might not know they are even there until a year later! It is possible that you will feel unwell, and you might get a red rash where they enter the skin, but they may just enter undetected and you’ll only find out they were there when they have done irreversible damage to your internal organs…hmmm…something to look forward to in a few months time! My good friend Jill kept warning me about bilharzias disease when I was swimming in Lake Kivu in Rwanda, and not realising quite how horrendous it is, I didn’t heed the warnings…though I now also read in the guide book that bilharzias probably isn’t around in Lake Kivu – there were no reeds where we were, and I never saw any snails…BUT people have apparently died by being asphyxiated by volcanic gases bubbling up from under ground and lurking around the surface of the lake! In fact it’s a wonder I’m alive at all. I think I might stop reading the lonely planet guide or I may not step outside the tent again!

So, to recap the time since I last wrote in Zanzibar, we drove down into Malawi…in fact I was wrong about popping through Mozambique – we do that next after Malawi. We stayed one night at a bush camp before we made it to the lake – that day we drove from 5am until 6pm and then camped in the middle of a forest…it was freezing cold, and you had to hope you didn’t need to pee in the night because it meant wandering into the trees and hoping to find a spot with no spiders or snakes! Then we had another long drive day and camped at a beach higher up the lake and after one more shorter drive with a stop at the local market to buy dressing up clothes for a party in Harare (Oh joy unbounded!) we arrived where we are now.

Yesterday two boys that I met on the beach in the morning – one of whom was called Winston Churchill – took us around the local village. They did a really good job, and we only paid them the equivalent of a pound each – we went to the orphanage, met the village chief, saw a water pump, cassava being peeled and dried, the local clinic and school and had a really good time. The only downside to the day was my realisation that having finished my video tape the day before and rewound it, I had forgotten to change it for a new one and videoed the tour on top of the most fantastic shots of a leopard up a tree devouring the gazelle it had caught earlier. Unbelievably gutting realisation, resulting in a mad swim in the roughest water I’ve ever been in followed by a glass of wine. And hey, when you haven’t drunk for 6 months, it really goes to your head!

Today is apparently pig day … on this campsite at least – don’t know about the rest of Malawi. A local took us to church this morning, and Tracy and I ended up singing Amazing Grace for the congregation… we kind of got used to impromptu performances in Rwanda. If we told anyone that we could sing, they would immediately request a song…on the spot! And not just in church, in random households with gatherings of people we’d never met, in the middle of a school playing field…you name it, we sung in it! Unfortunately due to lack of music our repertoire numbered only three songs that we could remember, the two first choices being Pie Jesu and Amazing Grace…so these we have sung to death. And as for the pig...it was alive at 8.30 this morning, it's now on a pole, rotating over a fire, with most of our group sat around it drinking and watching it cook! Can't say I'm enthralled, but each to their own. I think I'll have to eat it this evening I expect.

Well, I’m off to see if I can get this on the internet now. We are now half way through the trek and things have got a lot easier. People still get drunk every night and spend the next day feeling sick and hung over, and for them we might as well be in Ibiza…but we are making the most of the things we are seeing and doing, and we are certainly seeing and doing some things!

SNORKELLING!

Well, snorkelling at the reef off Zanzibar Island was incredible! The fish were as bright as those in the Great Barrier Reef, and though we didn't see any turtles like we had hoped we might, I did see a ray...possibly a small yellow stingray - it had blue spots, but was no where near as big as I thought sting rays were, so I haven't identified it yet! They cooked us a fish barbecue on the beach - it was really good tuna (which they must have caught that morning), vegetable curry, rice and a random selection of fruit - all to be eaten with fingers - which is always fun! The boat ride there and back was also good - on a wooden boat with a top bit that you could sit on with boards. It was a scorchingly hot day, but by some miracle I managed to avoid turning the shade of lobster that most other people turned!

We travelled back to a hotel near the ferry port for tonight...so it'll be our last night in a bed for a while (apart from the night after when we have managed to upgrade for 2pounds each into a cabin to save taking the tent down at 5am) The day after tomorrow will be a long drive day (hence the early start) towards Mozambique and then across to Malawi. We will be camping in the bush, and I am next up on the Cook Group rota, so I shall be cooking up something edible (with a bit of luck) for 28 people (with the help of two others!) I'll keep you posted on the success of that venture!

ADVENTURES ON A TRUCK!

Here I am on day 8 sitting on Zanzibar, finally getting a chance to fill you in. I have smuggled my laptop onto the island…without the rest of the group knowing – I don’t suddenly want thousands of people wanting things charged and photos transferred onto disks…or anyone knowing it is usually stowed away under the floorboards in the Rwanda never-opened bag, because it can’t be stolen if no-one knows it is there.

So, highlights of the trip so far have been:

1) Seeing the Massai men in the village doing their jumpy-dancey thing and singing at the same time – that was brilliant.
2) Descending into the Ngorongoro Crater and seeing lions, giraffes, buffalo, zebra, wildebeest, flamingo, rhino in the distance and at lunch time watching an elephant walk straight past us no more than a few meters away, rub itself with dust, squirt itself with water, have a quick bite of the surrounding reeds and then go for a paddle!

3) Managing to film a leopard leaping into a tree and watching it devour a gazelle it had killed and put there earlier.
4) Driving through the Serengeti with my head stuck out of the top of a jeep watching the plains sweeping past and a cheetah in the distance…as well as three lions stalking their prey (unfortunately not seeing a kill though!)
5) Seeing the Indian Ocean (the first sea I have seen for over seven months!) Lovely and warm to swim in – and gorgeously blue and clear. Tomorrow we will be snorkelling after a boat ride which I am looking forward to tremendously.

Well, I’m sure that all sounds pretty exciting, but before you get too jealous it’s not all been clear blue waters and lions! The lowlights so far have been:

1) Sudden striking of homesickness – for Rwanda as well as England – and missing of the people in both places. First time I have really felt painfully homesick in these seven months, but I guess maybe it was because the end is now in sight and it was hard work to begin with (see lowlight 2)
2) Culture shock! After spending six months in Rwanda, not drinking, not seeing anyone smoke and praying before every meal we both of us felt the dramatic culture shock on beginning the trek. We got on the truck and loud music was turned on, two people danced across the truck and informed us that we would have to join in the 8am disco every morning (one of them promptly falling over and banging her head on the door because the truck was moving!) Then the driver & tour leader in their welcome talk told us that if we wanted to smoke marijuana that we should ask them where it was best to buy it. Both driver and tour leader punctuate every sentence with at least one swear word. The tour leader herself has been hung over at least one morning in the last week and is drinking plenty every night. So…it was suddenly like being back at university in the first week when you don’t know anyone… And heaven knows why I wasn’t expecting it – I should have known better. Now, a week later, things have improved – everyone is fairly nice as individuals – but the group who have been here longer than the second lot of us who got on at Nairobi are still a bit scary! There is talk of a teambuilding exercise to unite old and new groups, though this has come far too late, and I am seriously considering hiding under the table or having a fit and being taken away to go to bed!
3) Traveller’s diarrhoea. Its unbelievable how unhardy my once so hardy constitution has become. And feeling sick is not fun when you are on a truck for eight hours of the day and in a tent at night!
4) Being offered a room with a double bed in Zanzibar by the tour leader who had come to the conclusion that Tracy and I were a couple! In Rwanda if you hold hands no-one bats an eyelid – men walk along with their arms around each other all the time…here it seems that you hold hands once (and then mainly because I was feeling rough) and they have you down as raving lesbians!

Anyway, at the time of writing I am happy again – groups are always difficult when you first join them, and eventually you find a niche. Unfortunately my usual niche cannot be used, because if anyone does anything silly they are given a numpty award and are forced to wear a dummy on a rope around their neck for the whole of the next 24hrs, regardless of whether they are snorkelling, scuba diving, bungee jumping or trekking lions. So far I have avoided it, but it certainly caused me some stress to begin with. Now I’ve given up caring – life’s too short. It just means that if you pull the curtains (we have accommodation with beds rather than tents in Zanzibar) and the entire wooden pole falls down on your head with the curtains attached, you have to very quietly fit it back up and not tell a soul! Not sure how long I’m going to survive without one – one week down, three to go. Anyone seen a redcoat in the vicinity?!

We have another few days in Zanzibar and then we drive on down through Mozambique – don’t think we see much of that, but we get another pretty stamp in our passports – and into Malawi where we camp by the lake, and then on into Zimbabwe and Victoria Falls…our aim is to have saved enough money by not drinking to be able to fly over Victoria Falls when we get there. The mode of transport ranges in price from an helicopter to an aeroplane, so hopefully we’ll have enough for the aeroplane, otherwise we’re stuck using the wings I am currently constructing from a curtain rail and a pair of curtains…