The final chapter

I met these two girls on the beach in Malawi and we played together for ages while their mothers were washing clothes. I had gone for a walk down the beach to get away from the racket emanating from the ipod with speakers that one of our crew has brought with him, and these two girls ran up to me effervescing with excitement, so I said hello to them and though we couldn’t speak any of the same language the universal language of seaweed throwing soon had effect. They were laughing and giggling as we played catch together…The little one was really good at catching but really encouraging of the taller one who kept dropping it! I guess its not often that random muzungus stop to play with them…and I was loving it as much as they were!

After our camping by the beach we moved on to Lilongwe – the capital of Malawi – and camped there for two nights. After the first night the manager of the campsite (An English lady) came and asked Tracy if she knew the people that were camping over by the fence. Tracy said yes, it was our friends Rhod and Karen (the Welshies who we had become quite attached to). At this point the conversation went something like this:
Manager: “Oh right, just because they have pitched their tent on Christina’s hole.”
Tracy: “Who’s Christina?”
Manager: “Oh, she’s a baboon spider.”
Tracy thinks to herself…this spider is not only big enough to have a name but also to live in a hole.
Tracy: “So how big is Christina?”
Manager (nonchalantly): “About the size of your hand. She’s an endangered species and I usually say good morning to her as I walk past…but this morning I couldn’t see her hole, so I’m pretty sure your friends have got their tent on top of the hole. I guess they might want to move it.”
Tracy: “Yes, right, I’ll let them know as soon as they wake up.

Though of course the temptation to wake them up is too much to resist, so a small group of us go over and call out, ”Karen, are you awake?” She pokes her head out and we explain the situation which she just thinks must be a wind-up. Eventually they both realise we are not kidding and with a look of stunned disbelief Karen leaps from the tent and Rhod follows a few mins later! They drag the tent back, and sure enough there’s the hole and no spider to be seen…of course there is a slight concern as to her whereabouts and whether she is clinging to the bottom of the tent or not!

Later on when it was dark, the managers husband had told us he would tease the spider out, in the way he had been shown by an Australian spider expert, but on his failing to turn up, Callum and I went over and while Callum was exceedingly brave with a red torch and a stick, I was busy getting fantastic wildlife footage (from a suitable distance using my camera’s incredibly handy zoom!!) And Christina was indeed the BIGGEST spider I have ever seen. She was the size of a hand at least! Unfortunately when we got back to our tent later that night there was a baboon spider size hole in the zip, so until that point we really hadn’t minded being the next closest tent to the hole…but it didn’t make for a great nights sleep! It wasn’t actually that I was scared of the spider but more of the larium dreams that I have been having and the fact that they would probably feature Christina that night.

The next few days in brief involved a bush camp in Mozambique – I will give private explanations of bush toilets to anyone brave enough to ask for one, but I want to keep this blog suitable for bedtime reading. Crossed into Zimbabwe, lost the Welshies, gained a couple of newbies, and had a fancy dress party to welcome them – I only just managed to stop one of them from leaving there and then!
Remembering that we are getting continual warnings from various parents about the civil war in Zimbabwe, we went into Harare the next day, bought food and then watched a film. Didn’t even have to dodge any gunfire

The day after I got lost in the Great Zimbabwe Ruins…just stopped to take a picture and the group had disappeared! I wandered around lots of walls and eventually heard Tracy calling me. It was quite an exciting adventure!

We moved onto Antelope Park which has not only been the best campsite we have been to for amenities, but also the coldest! During the day, temperatures were probably around 28 degrees, and at night they drop below freezing! Now this is all very well if you have a blanket and are well, but add a fever and diarrhoea into the equation and you end up with uncontrollable shaking from head to toe and a very uncomfortable nights sleep. I have had some kind of stomach bug again, and at midnight on that particular night, after an hour of uncontrollable shivers, I informed Tracy that I was dying. I had malaria, tuberculosis and Bilharzias disease and probably wouldn’t make it to the morning. She gave me half of her blanket.

Four days later I am right-as-rain, you’ll be pleased to know!
In the days when I wasn’t ill at Antelope Park we actually had an incredibly exciting schedule. I walked with lions, stroked them, played with lion cubs, rode an elephant (never again – I have NEVER been so uncomfortable in my life!) and went on a sunset boat cruise. Tracy and I were the only people on the cruise because everyone else was planning to do the booze cruise in Victoria Falls and the thought of being trapped on a boat with the rest of our compatriots blind-drunk didn’t appeal to us. It was incredible to watch the sun go down over the river with the fish eagles watching on and the cormorants nesting down for the night with their babies.

In the next campsite we upgraded for the night – it only cost us $3 each to get a bed and was much appreciated. We went to see the rhinos in Matopos Park – unfortunately only white ones, though there are black ones there but the rangers don’t like to take people close to them as they can be skittish and potentially violent. We got really close to the white ones though – even a mother and baby which was very sweet.

Now we are in Victoria Falls and we watched some people bungy jumping yesterday, without the slightest urge to join them! Tomorrow I will be flying over the Falls in a microlight which I am very excited about! Then we will explore them from the Zimbabwe side, go across to the Zambia side for two nights and THEN WE’RE COMING HOME!!! We are flying on 2nd August and will be back on the 3rd – hurray!

Addendumb (sic) : We are in fact NOT going to Zambia for two nights because we do not in fact fly from the airport in Zambia…we have just had a narrow escape…almost turned up at the wrong airport and would have been told we were in the wrong country! Why does Vic Falls have to have two international airports? Its so small!!

Where am I?

The problem with this trip is that we go from one place to another so fast that I often haven’t got a clue where I am. But we are spending four nights here…in Malawi – camping right by the lake, so I have nearly got the hang of that! When I say lake you will probably be imagining a still shining surface of water across which you can see land, when in fact it is far more like being by the sea. The wind is howling and the waves are crashing, and when I went for a swim yesterday I was nearly knocked over by one, they were that strong. Needless to say, I was the only one swimming…

However, the waves are good from one point of view. If the water is moving there is far less likely to be any bilharzias parasites floating around in it. After reading about it in the guide book, I decided there was no way I was swimming – snails that live on reeds eject these parasites and then they swim up and squirm their way under your skin and you might not know they are even there until a year later! It is possible that you will feel unwell, and you might get a red rash where they enter the skin, but they may just enter undetected and you’ll only find out they were there when they have done irreversible damage to your internal organs…hmmm…something to look forward to in a few months time! My good friend Jill kept warning me about bilharzias disease when I was swimming in Lake Kivu in Rwanda, and not realising quite how horrendous it is, I didn’t heed the warnings…though I now also read in the guide book that bilharzias probably isn’t around in Lake Kivu – there were no reeds where we were, and I never saw any snails…BUT people have apparently died by being asphyxiated by volcanic gases bubbling up from under ground and lurking around the surface of the lake! In fact it’s a wonder I’m alive at all. I think I might stop reading the lonely planet guide or I may not step outside the tent again!

So, to recap the time since I last wrote in Zanzibar, we drove down into Malawi…in fact I was wrong about popping through Mozambique – we do that next after Malawi. We stayed one night at a bush camp before we made it to the lake – that day we drove from 5am until 6pm and then camped in the middle of a forest…it was freezing cold, and you had to hope you didn’t need to pee in the night because it meant wandering into the trees and hoping to find a spot with no spiders or snakes! Then we had another long drive day and camped at a beach higher up the lake and after one more shorter drive with a stop at the local market to buy dressing up clothes for a party in Harare (Oh joy unbounded!) we arrived where we are now.

Yesterday two boys that I met on the beach in the morning – one of whom was called Winston Churchill – took us around the local village. They did a really good job, and we only paid them the equivalent of a pound each – we went to the orphanage, met the village chief, saw a water pump, cassava being peeled and dried, the local clinic and school and had a really good time. The only downside to the day was my realisation that having finished my video tape the day before and rewound it, I had forgotten to change it for a new one and videoed the tour on top of the most fantastic shots of a leopard up a tree devouring the gazelle it had caught earlier. Unbelievably gutting realisation, resulting in a mad swim in the roughest water I’ve ever been in followed by a glass of wine. And hey, when you haven’t drunk for 6 months, it really goes to your head!

Today is apparently pig day … on this campsite at least – don’t know about the rest of Malawi. A local took us to church this morning, and Tracy and I ended up singing Amazing Grace for the congregation… we kind of got used to impromptu performances in Rwanda. If we told anyone that we could sing, they would immediately request a song…on the spot! And not just in church, in random households with gatherings of people we’d never met, in the middle of a school playing field…you name it, we sung in it! Unfortunately due to lack of music our repertoire numbered only three songs that we could remember, the two first choices being Pie Jesu and Amazing Grace…so these we have sung to death. And as for the pig...it was alive at 8.30 this morning, it's now on a pole, rotating over a fire, with most of our group sat around it drinking and watching it cook! Can't say I'm enthralled, but each to their own. I think I'll have to eat it this evening I expect.

Well, I’m off to see if I can get this on the internet now. We are now half way through the trek and things have got a lot easier. People still get drunk every night and spend the next day feeling sick and hung over, and for them we might as well be in Ibiza…but we are making the most of the things we are seeing and doing, and we are certainly seeing and doing some things!

SNORKELLING!

Well, snorkelling at the reef off Zanzibar Island was incredible! The fish were as bright as those in the Great Barrier Reef, and though we didn't see any turtles like we had hoped we might, I did see a ray...possibly a small yellow stingray - it had blue spots, but was no where near as big as I thought sting rays were, so I haven't identified it yet! They cooked us a fish barbecue on the beach - it was really good tuna (which they must have caught that morning), vegetable curry, rice and a random selection of fruit - all to be eaten with fingers - which is always fun! The boat ride there and back was also good - on a wooden boat with a top bit that you could sit on with boards. It was a scorchingly hot day, but by some miracle I managed to avoid turning the shade of lobster that most other people turned!

We travelled back to a hotel near the ferry port for tonight...so it'll be our last night in a bed for a while (apart from the night after when we have managed to upgrade for 2pounds each into a cabin to save taking the tent down at 5am) The day after tomorrow will be a long drive day (hence the early start) towards Mozambique and then across to Malawi. We will be camping in the bush, and I am next up on the Cook Group rota, so I shall be cooking up something edible (with a bit of luck) for 28 people (with the help of two others!) I'll keep you posted on the success of that venture!

ADVENTURES ON A TRUCK!

Here I am on day 8 sitting on Zanzibar, finally getting a chance to fill you in. I have smuggled my laptop onto the island…without the rest of the group knowing – I don’t suddenly want thousands of people wanting things charged and photos transferred onto disks…or anyone knowing it is usually stowed away under the floorboards in the Rwanda never-opened bag, because it can’t be stolen if no-one knows it is there.

So, highlights of the trip so far have been:

1) Seeing the Massai men in the village doing their jumpy-dancey thing and singing at the same time – that was brilliant.
2) Descending into the Ngorongoro Crater and seeing lions, giraffes, buffalo, zebra, wildebeest, flamingo, rhino in the distance and at lunch time watching an elephant walk straight past us no more than a few meters away, rub itself with dust, squirt itself with water, have a quick bite of the surrounding reeds and then go for a paddle!

3) Managing to film a leopard leaping into a tree and watching it devour a gazelle it had killed and put there earlier.
4) Driving through the Serengeti with my head stuck out of the top of a jeep watching the plains sweeping past and a cheetah in the distance…as well as three lions stalking their prey (unfortunately not seeing a kill though!)
5) Seeing the Indian Ocean (the first sea I have seen for over seven months!) Lovely and warm to swim in – and gorgeously blue and clear. Tomorrow we will be snorkelling after a boat ride which I am looking forward to tremendously.

Well, I’m sure that all sounds pretty exciting, but before you get too jealous it’s not all been clear blue waters and lions! The lowlights so far have been:

1) Sudden striking of homesickness – for Rwanda as well as England – and missing of the people in both places. First time I have really felt painfully homesick in these seven months, but I guess maybe it was because the end is now in sight and it was hard work to begin with (see lowlight 2)
2) Culture shock! After spending six months in Rwanda, not drinking, not seeing anyone smoke and praying before every meal we both of us felt the dramatic culture shock on beginning the trek. We got on the truck and loud music was turned on, two people danced across the truck and informed us that we would have to join in the 8am disco every morning (one of them promptly falling over and banging her head on the door because the truck was moving!) Then the driver & tour leader in their welcome talk told us that if we wanted to smoke marijuana that we should ask them where it was best to buy it. Both driver and tour leader punctuate every sentence with at least one swear word. The tour leader herself has been hung over at least one morning in the last week and is drinking plenty every night. So…it was suddenly like being back at university in the first week when you don’t know anyone… And heaven knows why I wasn’t expecting it – I should have known better. Now, a week later, things have improved – everyone is fairly nice as individuals – but the group who have been here longer than the second lot of us who got on at Nairobi are still a bit scary! There is talk of a teambuilding exercise to unite old and new groups, though this has come far too late, and I am seriously considering hiding under the table or having a fit and being taken away to go to bed!
3) Traveller’s diarrhoea. Its unbelievable how unhardy my once so hardy constitution has become. And feeling sick is not fun when you are on a truck for eight hours of the day and in a tent at night!
4) Being offered a room with a double bed in Zanzibar by the tour leader who had come to the conclusion that Tracy and I were a couple! In Rwanda if you hold hands no-one bats an eyelid – men walk along with their arms around each other all the time…here it seems that you hold hands once (and then mainly because I was feeling rough) and they have you down as raving lesbians!

Anyway, at the time of writing I am happy again – groups are always difficult when you first join them, and eventually you find a niche. Unfortunately my usual niche cannot be used, because if anyone does anything silly they are given a numpty award and are forced to wear a dummy on a rope around their neck for the whole of the next 24hrs, regardless of whether they are snorkelling, scuba diving, bungee jumping or trekking lions. So far I have avoided it, but it certainly caused me some stress to begin with. Now I’ve given up caring – life’s too short. It just means that if you pull the curtains (we have accommodation with beds rather than tents in Zanzibar) and the entire wooden pole falls down on your head with the curtains attached, you have to very quietly fit it back up and not tell a soul! Not sure how long I’m going to survive without one – one week down, three to go. Anyone seen a redcoat in the vicinity?!

We have another few days in Zanzibar and then we drive on down through Mozambique – don’t think we see much of that, but we get another pretty stamp in our passports – and into Malawi where we camp by the lake, and then on into Zimbabwe and Victoria Falls…our aim is to have saved enough money by not drinking to be able to fly over Victoria Falls when we get there. The mode of transport ranges in price from an helicopter to an aeroplane, so hopefully we’ll have enough for the aeroplane, otherwise we’re stuck using the wings I am currently constructing from a curtain rail and a pair of curtains…

I forgot...

There was some exciting news that I forgot to tell you! Last week we took a trip to visit a friend of Pam's, a muzungu called Kay-Ellen...or K-Ellen (we're not entirely sure how its spelt!) Anyway, the amazing thing is where she lives - in Ros Carr's house! As many of you will know Ros Carr lived out in Rwanda for many years, setting up an orphanage primarily for victims of the genocide, but then for anyone who needed to be cared for there. There are still over 100 orphans there and Kay-Ellen and another American, Martha, oversee it. There are also extensive gardens which we wandered through, and found Ros Carr's grave amongst the trees. The acres and acres are looked after by gardeners and still accessible to the public; I think Ros Carr used to use them as a form of income. Some of the orphans also make rugs and shawls which they sell. We celebrated nine June birthdays with them on the day we visited and cut up two huge cakes, enough for everyone!

In the afternoon Pam, Tracy and I went for a walk out of the grounds and ended up collecting a whole bunch of children as we walked back...the pied piper effect which we so often seem to have! They sang to us as we walked and took it in turns to hold our hands - they were very cute!

This picture is (from the left) me, Tracy, K-Ellen, Pam and Sue outside Ros Carr's house. Sue has now returned to the US for some medical tests and she won't be back before we leave so when the three of us go there will be no permanent muzungus in Ruhengeri! In case any of you hadn't gathered, Pam is also returning the UK, the day after we leave for the trek. She is coming home to relax first but then do some serious deputation work around the country. If anyone would like her or me (or most likely both!) to come and speak to a group of people (WI, Rotary, Church congregations, coffee mornings, schools, knitting groups, those-in-awe-of-the-elephant societies...you get the idea) about Tubakunde we would be very happy to do so. Drop me an email or use the tubakunde email to get in touch with the home partners - tubakunde.rwanda@hotmail.com - we talk for free and guarantee a fun filled evening!!

The end is nigh...

Less than a week to go…

It is unbelievable how quickly the last six months have gone – I thought when I came here that I would be desperate to come home by the end of June, but it turns out that I am going to have very mixed feelings on leaving. I am extremely excited about the overland trek that we are about to embark on from Nairobi to Victoria Falls via lions, giraffes, zebra, and buffalo roaming the African plans. I am also extremely sad to be leaving beautiful Rwanda, with its gorgeous children and the lovely people I have met here (especially Pam…I think Pam-withdrawal symptoms are going to be extreme – Tracy's not looking forward to them but I've no doubt she'll administer the valium that we saved from when I was ill before if necessary!) I am extremely looking forward to seeing my family (and extended family…and York family) back in the UK though I am not looking forward to returning to my house in York which has apparently now got a trashed garden, ripped to pieces by the local kids, and a mould infested bathroom. If only I could get them visas, I would very seriously consider bringing Jean-Pierre and Rachael back home with me – he is a great guard, and she can certainly clean!

Here is a picture of them with me that we took yesterday. Note the length of my hair now…and the weight I have apparently put on! The matrons decided today that you could see the fat on my face, my arms and my stomach…and if I could just increase it a little more I would be a perfect size apparently! One of the teachers totally independently also said that I was getting fat. It might be a compliment over here to tell someone they are becoming fat…but unfortunately it just points out to me that drinking full fat milk in African tea (which is all milk with a bit of spice in), irregular meals, lack of exercise and the discovery that Jackie makes very good chips have become a bit of a problem. I went for a long swim this evening to thrash off some of the excess baggage…I don't want them to charge me extra to get on the plane!!

Where was I? Oh yes, my mixed feelings. So, you can see that the last couple of weeks have been hard-going – I began to seriously consider my future and the whens/hows/whys and wherefores connected with returning to Rwanda, and then decided that really the best idea was to make my biggest concern not being eaten by a lion for the next month, and then deal with the other issues on my return! Who knows what the future holds…but there is no reason it should be scary (unless it involves being dragged out of your tent by your feet by a lion of immense proportions!)

Over the next month we will be on our trek, and apparently we will have some internet access on the way, but I'm sure it will depend on where we are and how far we are prepared to "trek" for an internet café, so, if I can update you I will, and if not, fear not, I will fill you in on my return. Watch this space!

Anyone for a corgi?

Don't worry, we haven't been eating more dodgy food... Last week we went to our dear old Queen's Official Birthday Party at the British Embassy! Did you know there are about 300 Brits in Rwanda?...and I've met two! Heaven knows where they are all hiding! I think a lot of them are VSOs and another organisation, but after that there are still 200 random floaters! I actually met a very nice VSO worker who will still be in Rwanda when I come back, if all goes to plan, so I'm going to keep in touch with her despite the fact that she lives in the sticks!

Well, they gave us fish and chips, beef sandwiches and cheese and biscuits - classic British Cuisine (I'm sure you'll agree!)...and houmous, which would have been a nice accompaniment to the cheese and biscuits had it not turned out to be horse-radish sauce (thanks for that Pam!)

They also plied us with enough alcohol to sink a battle ship...and considering we're not allowed to drink out here in real life, for fear of being reported for our un-Christian behaviour, we were well away! Tracy offered to drive home...so Pam and I made the most of the free supply of wine and spirits...and had a simply marvellous time, what ho! Though, for future parties it might be advisable for them to move the tree with the lumpy horn-encrusted branches out of the path of people making a beeline for home...

Tracy was just disappointed that they didn't let us sing the National Anthem, or Rule Britannia for that matter...I was rather pleased myself! Unfortunately she was also disappointed that she didn't meet her future husband...but I thought it was a pretty narrow escape when we found the one she had her eye on, on his hands and knees outside the front gate!

While we are on the subject of Tracy, apologies to anyone who was offended by the appearance of her nose on the birthday blog. As I keep explaining to her, it is difficult to take photos of her WITHOUT the nose...but she worries about these things! Personally I think it is a lovely nose and should have as much airtime as possible.

Grasshoppers and corned beef hash...

Well, what a strange experience. In the same evening I was fed fried grasshopper and corned beef hash…and I have to say that it was a close-run contest to decide which was the most enjoyable. The grasshopper, once you got over the fact that you were munching almost an entire grasshopper including its head (but minus the wings) was really surprisingly tasty. They only appear at one time of year and only then for a couple of weeks and so you have to catch them (literally) before they get too old to taste good. There are two varieties – green and brown, but the brown one isn’t an old version of the green one and they all look the same once cooked. I watched Kazungu (the guard at T house) catching them the other day; he very deftly breaks their necks without their heads falling off! It is a difficult flavour to describe…though the same cannot be said for the corned beef hash, which is a very easy flavour to describe in just three words – like dog food! I think the main problem is the fact that once you have mashed the corned beef into the potato, the consistency and the appearance is remarkably close to that of dog food as well as the taste…it doesn’t stand a chance really! Give me a fried grasshopper any day.

The birthday fun continues…

This weekend I went for my traditional birthday swim – but it was not just any swim! I fulfilled one of my lifetime ambitions! On Saturday we headed down to Gisenyi and had lunch at our usual haunt (Serena Hotel…which may or may not be owned by the tennis player) and then went and picked up Nelson, Solange and the babies to take them to the beach. I played in the water with Mercy, we had found her a little swimming costume in one of the boxes at T-house, and she LOVES the water! After we had watched the sun set – and what a sunset! – we took Nelson et al. home.
Then we drove along a winding, unsurfaced road with a drop into the lake on the right hand side and the occasional doubtful-looking thin wooden bridge to cross for what seemed like miles in the dark until we finally reached tour accommodation for the night. It was a nunnery with rooms to rent out for 5,000frw a night (£5). Nelson had booked us two rooms, but we ended up sharing one, because we watched a film (well Tracy and I watched a film, while Pam snored through it – thank goodness we had the subtitles on for her!) and then went to sleep. We ate breakfast on a veranda overlooking the lake – it was a gorgeous view! Then I went for swim no.1 of the day – Pam was going to join me until she nearly lost her leg (and did lose her flip-flop momentarily) in some mud, and decided that the rocks were too treacherous to risk clambering on. I was allowed to drive back along the winding route, which seemed a lot less life-threatening in daylight, and the adventure to find the legendary hot springs began.

We set off down a road that we hoped might lead to the hot springs, and it turned out to be a lovely lakeside drive with beautiful scenery…though with a distinct lack of spring. We eventually reached a stop-sign, and two guards who didn’t have a clue what we were talking about when we asked about hot bubbling water, but were not keen on us going any further, so after an about-turn we set off merrily in the direction we had just come. We had no time pressures, and with David Cassidy (there he is again!) to keep us happy we didn’t mind the total diversion we had been on. We headed back into town and Pam’s determination that the hot springs would be obvious when we came across them grew less and less a determination, and more and more an inclination…until finally it was a vague hope…at which point we rang Sue (mainly to find out what the French for hot spring was – so that we could ask people for ‘les souffes chaud’ instead of having to do the bubbling/swimming action each time) and she gave us very sensible directions. We headed for the Brewery that we had driven through at least twice that morning, and asked someone there, who was able to direct us down a very steep slope and finally – there they were! It was incredible to see boiling water bubbling out of the ground with the steam rising off it…however Sue’s warning that we shouldn’t be surprised if it was more of a hot puddle than something we could swim in was very valid. In fact the water was far too hot for us to have got in it anyway, so we took lots of pictures of the various bubbling bits and then drove round the corner to go for a swim in the lake near to the springs.

We had to drive a little way mainly because we had been mobbed by staring Rwandans as is usual in places like this. We ended up putting a towel over the front windscreen and getting changed in the car, which thankfully has darkened windows…and even then there was still a woman who insisted on pressing her face right onto the window to try and see in…is a Muzungu naked such an exciting sight?! Anyway, we left everything locked in the car and secured the car keys to Pam’s bracelet and jumped into the lake. Tracy and I swam round to where the hot spring flowed into the lake and one of the men bathing there created a channel from the hot pool into the edge of the lake and it was like lying in a bath!! There were people washing there – and I don’t blame them, since most Rwandans shower in cold water usually. It was an amazing experience – and like I say, one of my lifetime ambitions to swim in a hot spring, ever since I learnt about the natural phenomenon in geography (probably the only thing I ever enjoyed about geography lessons!) We swam back round and Tracy stayed within sight of the car and I swam back round to the hot bit with Pam – I really didn’t want her to miss out on the chance since she had never done it before.

Well, after changing behind the towel in the car again, our next stop was lunch…and being so near the lake we decided to have fish…when it turned up hours later on the bone and smiling at us (thankfully with no eyes) we were hungry enough to eat it, but in Pam’s case certainly not to enjoy it! However, the lunchtime disappointment was more than made up for by the afternoon trip to the beach with Nancy (Nathan’s baby) and Christine (her Mum). Nelson came too, but we weren’t allowed to bring Mercy because she had got a bit shivery the day before when we had been in the water, and this had scared Solange. It was a shame really, because I spent the majority of my childhood shivering after swimming, getting warm again, and then jumping back in the water, but it is obviously not something they are used to here. Saturday was the first time that Mercy had ever been in the lake at all…and it looks like it might be the last for a while!

Well, we some lovely photos of Nancy on her first trip to the beach, and I drank a cappuccino that Jennie (sister) sent me in the post – I got all the parcels and cards that people sent the day after my birthday because the 16th happened to be a Wednesday which is Gacaca and so the post office wasn’t open – and I had my 3rd and final swim of the day before we departed for Musanze again. Despite the state of the car I was allowed to drive home (perfect end to a perfect weekend)…though the steering was dragging quite badly to the left (luckily most of the lethal drops were on the right!!) and we found out the next day that the suspension needed serious repairs! For the sake of my poor parents I ought to say that I’m exaggerating the danger actually…it turns out that I’m actually quite a safe driver!

Thanks to everyone who sent birthday wishes to me on the blog or by email and especially to those who sent post – it is wonderful to receive post out here, and it has made my birthday last even longer than normal…I believe there are still a few cards on the way! I hope you have all made it to the end of this mammoth birthday account – and have enjoyed it as much as I did at the time!

JOYEUX ANNIVERSAIRE!

And it was indeed joyeux! I have never celebrated my birthday in such style! I feel I need to take you through it from beginning to end...which means really that I start at 3am when I first woke up!! Or perhaps it would be even more appropriate to start at 11.58pm the night before when I was almost too excited to be asleep before the two minutes past midnight that I was born (of vital importance because if it got to 12.02 I would never have slept at all). I kept telling Pam to calm down and go to sleep - she was thoroughly over-excited and bouncing around the bed like a lunatic. She had stayed over so that she could be part of the excitement in the morning, but I almost had to knock her out to get her to go to sleep!

Whilst all this frivolity was going on, poor old Tracy was hiding quietly in her bedroom waiting for us to go to sleep so that she could decorate the house with banners and balloons that she had brought all the way from Tescos!! I really don’t know how she did it because we did not hear a thing! She even managed to get into my bedroom and put up balloons without me waking up – I could not believe it! I didn’t even notice the balloons when I went to the toilet at 3am, and thankfully I managed to get back to sleep again, for a couple of hours at least.

The first thing I did when I woke up (after Pam had sung ‘Happy Birthday’) was to open the birthday card that Hannah had given me before Christmas, carefully saved for six months! Then Tracy came and ate chocolate orange in bed with us – also carefully saved from Christmas!! At 7am Rachael arrived and made us all birthday omelettes while David Cassidy started ‘knocking at my brain’! (I’ve been warned that further mention of David Cassidy on this blog may well damage my reputation beyond repair…but you know, he was part of the birthday fun – what can I say?) We even waltzed around the living room to track 3 before the electricity went off! You’ll be glad to know it came back on in time for omelettes to be cooked before Tracy had to be at school.

Before I had even had time to get dressed there was a knocking at the gate, and (no the elephant had not returned!) Nathan and various sisters turned up to wish me a happy birthday (in my pyjamas) on their way to school! Then we went to school, arriving to a chorus of Happy Birthday from Flora and another matron, but we did what we needed to and went back to T House for lunch after Tracy’s lesson. We hadn’t planned to be at Sonrise at all, but it turned out to be a good thing that we went because Munyana came and handed me a whole pile of handwritten cards & papers from her and her friends with some lovely birthday messages! It seems to be the Rwandan way of wishing someone a happy birthday to say “May you grow to be toothless and to blow a hundred candles with your grandchildren”! Even Justus poked his head around the door and shyly wished me a Happy Birthday before disappearing…I was in the middle of parking the car so I couldn’t get out to talk to him! I was allowed to do all the driving that morning because it was my birthday and I love it!
This is my new birthday outfit from Tracy - we kept seeing this fantastic pink material with yellow fish on it in the market and she kept saying it was a bit bright really and that maybe I could buy it for a table cloth when we left...but then got it made up for me for my birthday! I love it...and there is enough material left to decorate my house with as well!

After lunch at T house we all piled into Sue’s car to drive to Kigali where we spent what seemed like an incredible amount of time searching for ‘gravy granules’…though I later discovered they were the kind of ‘gravy granules’ which have icing on the top, candles stuck in them and taste remarkably sweet!

We went and checked in at the Guest House in Kigali and had a rest (and a quick swig of martini…sorry classy aperitif…) before we got ready to go out for dinner. We were planning to go to a Chinese Restaurant which came highly recommended, but on arriving there we discovered that Wednesday was the only day it was shut…so we had a quick change of plan and ended up at Kazana Indian restaurant. Justin came (a Muzungu from the US who Pam has known a long time) as well as Eben, Peace (Nathan’s brother and sister who are local to Kigali) and Nathan. The Rwandan contingency turned up after round one of the food but I was really glad they came. Nathan and Peace are in the picture together, and Eben in the other one.

The highlight of the evening was the lights going off (which I thought was a power cut) and then about ten waiters coming in dancing and clapping and singing ‘Happy Birthday’ in English, French AND Swahili, presenting me with a cake (the ‘gravy granules’ in fact) and a silly hat and then disappearing off into the darkness again! It really was an experience to remember – one of the waiters was even dressed as Father Christmas – I was totally blown away by the whole thing!

Wow…I’ve just seen a jackdaw catch a grasshopper mid-flight in my back garden (more about grasshoppers later…)

So, we spent the night in the Guest House and then Sue departed to spend the day in Kigali and we got on the Virunga back to Musanze. Tracy had swapped a lesson so that she didn’t have to be at school until the afternoon which was perfect…until Pam was told she had a meeting with the Bishop which meant we had to get an early bus after all!

However, to conclude – I had an absolutely fantastic birthday…and that was just the 16th May…there is more to come!

THE WEDDING - PART 2!

Well, the second part of the wedding started in the cathedral, and to say we arrived late there was still PLENTY of the service still to sit through. Our first experience of the Bishop preaching…shame we couldn’t understand a word of it! Then we went to the guest house for the reception, which I was rather hoping was going to be a buffet-style milling event…no such luck! We were all sat in rows in a big hall, and we got there at about 1.30pm…sat down for about half an hour on the hard seats and with no sign of any of the protagonists, Pam and I got distracted by the babies outside the church and went to play with Joshua and Mercy. We scooted back to our seats before the entrance of the bridal party underneath an arch and down a red carpet…I think Ruth may even have smiled as she was walking along – she never smiled once through the church service. It’s very strange to see, but apparently the bride never smiles during the wedding ceremony in Rwanda. Sue tells me there are two reasons for this – one is that traditionally it wasn’t a particularly happy occasion for the bride, because she was being ripped from her family and often didn’t have much of a choice of husband so it was all a bit traumatic. The other reason is that she is not supposed to look as though she is looking forward to her wedding night!!

The next three hours proceeded with yet more speeches (I told you Rwandan’s were fond of talking!) interspersed with the bride and groom drinking ceremonially out of a giant pot of local brew with straws.

And then probably the highlight of the event - the cake! First of all they lit fireworks in the top of the cake, and then…you won’t believe this…I was quite incredulous, and Fred looked less than pleased (see picture!) and I don’t blame him. Just before the cake is cut, someone whips out a can of foam and sprays it all over the bride, groom, best man and matron of honour! And this happens in every wedding apparently! Though Sue tells me that sometimes it is ‘silly-string’…and thus easier to remove! Very bizarre! Then the bride serves cake to the groom’s family (which she did on one knee to much amusement from everyone) and the groom serves cake to the bride’s family (which he didn’t do on one knee!)

Then…joy of joys – they served us cake! It was a slice two centimetres by two centimetres, and was the first thing we had eaten since breakfast…it was now about 4.30pm! I have never been so glad to have requested one of Rachael (our housegirl)’s mammoth omelettes that morning. It involves 3eggs and onion and potato and was really the only thing that stopped me from dying that day! We kept thinking that they were going to serve food, and then people started talking again….this time they were pledging cows in various numbers. I was seriously considering standing up and offering our goat…the only thing that stopped me was that Nathan had warned me that it would be taken as offensive to pledge a goat – though we later discovered that if it was all we had then it would have been accepted gladly…eh! Missed opportunity!

In the end, we crept out…like four Bazungu (pl Muzungu!) can do anything inconspicuously! Especially when they are wearing traditional clothes and sandals. The problem was, that there really seemed to be no sign of any food coming, not even pleasant smells of cooking…and we knew that Tubakunde House was full of babies that had come to visit. Nelson and Solange were there with Mercy and Melissa, and Christine had brought Nancy who is still as gorgeous as she was last week (isn't she?) Nelson and Solange had been to the wedding first though, which was the main reason for their visit. It was so lovely to see babies inside T house, even if they weren’t orphaned babies being admitted…but it gave a real feel of what the place will be like when it opens next year.


The day ended with a trip to Muhabura to eat…though by the time we got there we were so tired that the entire chicken that Pam and I normally devour between us, almost devoured us entirely! (oh I should add that whilst they serve the entire chicken we neither of us eat the neck or the gizzards!)

Well, this is a long entry again – hope you are still with me, dear reader! I must go and prepare, I have less than two hours left until I reach a quarter of a century, and indeed the middle of my 3rd decade. Woohoo! The excitement is too much to bear…though I have to admit mainly for those around me. It would be good if I made it to my 25th year, but if I’m not careful I won’t!

Will our bottoms ever recover?

The Saturday before last started at the quite unearthly hour of 3.50am when we got up, to leave the house at 4.30am, to catch a bus that was supposed to be leaving the diocese at 5am sharp…but in fact left at a very Rwandan 5.50am. We were all too aware of the extra hour we could have spent in bed, but that's how things go! We then proceeded to drive for five hours (with one wee stop in a very dark long drop toilet, down which I nearly dropped more than I should have!) to a place called Mutara on the East side of Rwanda. We arrived about 11am at a marquee just off the road. And the event? A traditional wedding introduction that we had been invited to – a perfect opportunity to wear our traditional outfits again, and to really experience traditional Rwandan culture…on not-so-traditional Rwandan plastic furniture that was to be home to our backsides for the next five hours!

So, we arrived about 11am, and then went and got changed in a dark room in a house with no electricity. The lack of electricity wouldn't have been such a problem, if the family hadn't decided that the doors needed a fresh coat of paint, probably only hours before we arrived! It was nothing short of a miracle that my pink material remained pink… I can tell you! My only mistake really was dressing myself. I fastened the bottom half round my waist, then put the top half over my shoulder which Tracy knotted in the traditional way…then thinking I was ready, I picked up my backpack, promptly un-knotting the top half and then tried to leave the house, at which point I was mobbed by half a dozen people protesting at me in Kinyarwanda! I tried to explain that it was OK – I was going to retie the top half once I was outside in the light…but somebody translated that there was no way I was leaving the house, with a gap the length of Rwanda running from my hips to my feet where I hadn't done the skirt up, even nearly properly! So, I was redressed by a Rwandan woman who knew exactly what she was doing, overlapping the skirt which I had totally forgotten to do, and tying the top half so that even my bag couldn't destroy the knot!

Well, a Muzungu is always looked at, and pointed at…but one with underskirts showing would be too, too much! So after that narrow escape we were lead to our plastic seats and sat down thinking that it wouldn’t be long before the introduction started…we couldn’t have been more wrong! About two hours later when we had exhausted every “spot that guest” game with a particularly fine variation of “spot the old man with a stick” it finally began. It was at least another half an hour before the groom arrived and another hour and a half before we had any site of the bride!! In fact the first half of the wedding was dominated by the old men with sticks that we had had so much fun spotting! It turns out that Rwandans love to speak, especially the men – if there is an opportunity for a speech it is rarely missed! The beginning of the wedding introduction is an exchange between the old men with sticks on the groom’s side who are asking what the old men with sticks on the bride’s side will take in exchange for the bride. In this case they wanted cows…and that was EXACTLY what they got. Well, this is the only wedding I’ve ever been to attended by six long-horn cows…they played special cow-marching music and in came the cows, poked from behind and not looking terribly pleased about it! Then the groom was introduced, and went to sit at the front amongst the grass pots (which seem to be a big part of traditional culture – they don’t have anything in them but they are everywhere, stuck to walls, propped up on poles…blowing off in the wind when a storm blew up – sending the DJ running for shelter – dreadlocks and all!)

To cut an already too long story short and save you all the boredom that we experienced, the bride finally appeared about four hours into the ceremony and walked on with three other girls, who were apparently all called Ruth, and Fred (the groom) had to go and identify which Ruth he wanted. Then everyone cracked open a fanta (obviously a highly important part of the traditional Rwandan culture, seeing as crates of it featured highly throughout the ceremony and the bride and groom wandered off to get fed to much singing. And then…wait for it…we were fed – I don’t think I have ever been so hungry – it was about 6.30pm when we ate, and we hadn’t eaten since breakfast at 4.00am and the snacks I took on the bus…most of which had to be shared by the entire bus. However, they entertained us with their singing so I didn’t mind – it is amazing how these people just break into song in harmony, with rhythms being beaten out on the roof of the bus (a habit I have assumed, much to Pam’s annoyance when I scare the life out of her by hammering along to David Cassidy – now he’s also a new discovery!)

So, after a very long journey back on which we took it in turns to sleep on top of each other – Pam being infinitely more successful for some reason…I think she was so tired she managed to sleep for the entire journey regardless of whether she was on top of me, or vice versa. I’m afraid I was too aware of the fact that my bottom felt like it had been pounded by a herd of buffalo and didn’t fancy being sat on any longer to sleep much! There was of course a customary long-drop stop, though this was the most entertaining of the lot, because I was lead around the back of a building in the pitch black, a door was unlocked and then I was thrown in with only a torch to find the hole with…I was SO glad Tracy had come with me!

Well, I apologise for this mammoth entry. I’ll fill you in on the second part of the wedding in my next one…and I’m sorry to say that this week’s occasion was just as long as last weeks…and not even as interesting! I’ll try to condense it for you!

PS. 3 DAYS TO GO!

7 days to go!!!!!!!!!

Hi folks - very sorry for the immense amount of time that has lapsed since I last wrote. Special apology for those of you who have assumed that I have died...

In fact I haven't died, though I do have an interesting disfigurement on my face which Nathan thinks is ringworm...I just want to know where the worm is, though I shouldn't have asked because he said it was burrowing into my brain, but would eventually come through my skull! While I wait for this occurrence I will apply tea tree oil in the hope that it will go away! Even the Bishop had a good look at it yesterday, and I told him it was a bite... he then told Pam she wasn't looking after me...and I told him SHE hadn't bitten me! Not entirely sure if that was the sort of conversation I should have been having with the Bishop of Ruhengeri...but frankly I was just glad I hadn't head-butted him. Head-butting Bishops has become a bit of a habit of mine as I may have explained to you already!

Anyway, disfiguring features aside, I am sorry to have been so incredibly busy and leave all my devoted readers in the dark for nearly a month. I am in the process of writing another blog entry about a wedding introduction I went to last weekend which you will see at some point in the near future I hope but in the meantime there are plenty of baby pictures for you to be looking at!

Babies!

Last month Nathan told us something very exciting – that he has a baby! She was born on 23rd February. One Friday night Nathan told us and the following day, we went to Gisenyi where she lives with her mother, Christine, and Nelson and Solange (Nathan’s brother and sister-in-law) to visit her. Unfortunately Nathan couldn’t come with us because of a university convention he was to lead in Kigali, but the second time we went, he introduced us officially! She is an absolutely gorgeous baby, and still ever so small. She is called Rulinda Kanyana Nancy (after Pam’s Mum) I thought you might like to see a photo of her (she has Nathan’s eyes!):

And whilst I’m showing you baby photos – these are Nelson and Solange’s little girls – Mercy, the oldest, and Melissa.

Mercy is great fun to play with and absolutely loves the water. She learnt all our names when we were in the car and she was sat on my lap – she is much more talkative than when we last saw her. She has always known how to say “Pam” but it was so cute when she said “Emma”! And just to complete the collection, this is the other baby we were introduced to recently – he is Johnson's (Nathan’s brother) son, called Joshua:

So, you can see that despite there being a lack of babies at Tubakunde for the time being, there is certainly no lack of babies in the vicinity!

NEWSFLASH!

Half an hour ago I was watching our dinner being slaughtered! In fact the reason that I am writing it half an hour later is that I've spent the last half an hour cleaning the blood off my clothes!!! The cheapest way of getting chicken here is to kill it yourself...so Justine bought a chicken, stood on its feet and its wings and then bent its neck over and cut it - just like that. It was actually all very quiet, until it struggled which is when I got splattered! And I can tell you, I wasn't standing close - that blood can cover a huge distance! I'm still not sure why it is better to do it the way she did it (especially as the knife wasn't particularly sharp) rather than doing it the way they showed on that 'Castaway' programme some time ago, where they hold it upside down by its legs and just pull its neck hard downwards to snap it...I'm sure that is kinder and less messy. Maybe I'll try it one day...

Oh, and next time she kills one, I'm determined to video it...

Easter Sunday

Easter Sunday – what better excuse to get dressed up in traditional Rwandan clothes and go and spend three hours sitting in them in church?! Munyana Joy, pictured here with Amani Justus and Pam, took us shopping last week to buy the material and get it made up in the traditional way. Munyana and Justus are both off school at the moment for the Easter holidays, and Justus is staying with Pam as he quite often does in the holidays. Munyana is staying with her uncle, but has spent everyday with us – taking us to the market and teaching us how to dance! Next week they will go home to their families, who live on the way to Gisenyi, but they usually spend some time with their Musungu mother in the holidays first! Justus makes us laugh a lot because he is a typical sixteen year old, disappearing off for the day and when we ask him where he has been he always says “around”! He has friends in Ruhengeri so its nice for him to be able to stay more central and see them all.

Anyway, I digress…traditional clothes. Here are the three of us in our clothes:

And for those of you who have been so desperate to see the progress on my hair growth, here is a close up!!

And someone else requested a picture of Nathan, so here is one of the four of us standing outside the house of Mama Nathan.

We went here for a fantastic lunch after church. It was lovely to see all the Rulinda family again – Nathan is the seventh of nine children, so whilst he is the Head of the family he is certainly not the oldest. We have met al nine of them now…but please don’t ask me to recite the list! We know Emmanuel and Eben probably best as Eben helped us in Kigali to collect our passports, and Emmanuel is at school nearby so we see him quite a lot. We have also been to see Joyce at school and Charlotte is her twin. Peace is the older sister, and Stephen has been doing some painting at T-house. So that leaves Nelson, the oldest, who lives in Gisenyi and has the two small children, and Johnson who came with his wife and very sweet five month old baby - Joshua.

Wow, I am sitting outside on the outside porch step and I just heard a tremendously loud buzzing, and a bee the size of a small sparrow has just flown over the house! In the sky above my head there are at least three birds of prey circling – I think they are kites…though I’m not very good on African birds yet! And by my feet there is crawling a Nairobi fly…perhaps my least favourite of the wildlife around here! Oh, and then of course, there is Dachanger Clive…

COMPETITION RESULTS!

Well, I think it is time that the identity of Dachanger Clive is revealed! N0-one has guessed correctly, though Andrew definitely wins the prize for the most innovative suggestions! The two weeks are up, and during those two weeks there have been only three mornings that we haven’t been woken up by his bleating (and that was when we were in Cyangugu!) He is in fact a GOAT…and I have to admit quite a sweet one despite the infernal bleating that starts at 6am every morning when Jean-Pierre leaves the compound!

A couple of weeks ago Nathan rang me up and said “Guess what I have got here for you…” and we’ve never looked back since…though I quite often look ahead to the time when we leave and Dachanger’s fate is either to end up as the meat element in a dish of Akatogo or to prove himself useful enough to Tubakunde to be saved… I’m currently trying to train him to do the washing up, because I think it is his only chance of survival…if only his hooves were more dextrous!! I’ve also discovered this morning that he is quite fond of Mozart…when I started to play it on my computer whilst I have been outside writing this, he finally curled up in the sun and went to sleep!

He also has a penchant for bananas and an incredible ability to find his way into the house – he can even open the door handle with his hoof – regardless of its dexterity!! The other day he had trotted through the kitchen, found his way into the pantry and eaten all the bananas before we had even noticed he was in the house. Whilst he is the noisiest thing in the neighbourhood at 6am, he seems to have developed a stealth mode when he needs it which allows him to creep in unnoticed! Jean-Pierre, our guard, seems to really like him, which is surprising, since we discovered yesterday that they goat has chosen his bed as the ideal place to lie down to sleep at night. Someone was translating for us, and Jean-Pierre said “I really must find him somewhere to sleep that is not my bed!!” He also ate the rhubarb crumble that we gave to J-P the other day, while J-P was opening the gate, he raised himself up on the chair and got stuck-in, knocking the entire bowl on the floor as he did so! So, we have some way to go with the training, but he is getting quite good at coming when called….

Nairobi Fly!

I have to tell you about this insect. Its about the length of your little finger nail, but a quarter of the thickness and its red and black and quite distinctive. By the way, the one in the picture is dead and thus looks slightly deflated. I asked Justus to find me one to take a picture in and he brought this one in in his hand!! Its not malicious as such, but it inadvertantly does horrible horrible things to your skin. It doesn't bite, but if it sits on you, and you brush it off, you squash an acidic substance out of it which corrodes your skin - just like an acid burn. So many people seem to have got them, but on black skin it is difficult to see quite how horrible the effect is - but on Pam you can really see what a mess they make! You can see from these pictures, it is like a burn...but it starts small and then reacts and the area grows, and then it gets red raw and seems to dry out and peel whilst being intermittantly gungy. Pam has been in a lot of pain, and it has stopped her sleeping properly - its all pretty rotten for her! The first picture is what it looked like to start with, and the second is what it looks like now! Not nice at all! They gave us some anti-hystamine at the chemist, but yesterday we tried putting toothpaste on it, because thats what the children use at school, and it seemed to at least stop it hurting as much...until it dried...Pam didn't move her neck much at all yesterday actually! It is feeling better today though, she says.

It is also known as the Nairobi Eye because if you get one on your eye and brush it off...well, you can imagine it's not pleasant. Rachael, our house girl, couldn't come to work for a couple of days because her eye had swollen up so much!

Well, here's hoping that I never get one splatted on me anywhere! And don't worry, I'll let you know if I do! Perhaps I'll make a scrap book charting the progress of it, like Pam has...

Cyangugu

Well, while I’m keeping you in suspense about Dachanger Clive I think I’ll tell you about our little holiday last week. It is the first time that either of us has stopped work since we got here, so because the schools had broken up for Easter we decided to make the most of Tracy’s freedom and take a little trip down the country to Cyangugu (pronounced chang-goo-goo). When I say “little trip” I actually mean a two hour bus to Kigali, followed by a five hour bus down to Cyangugu! Fortunately the landscape kept us entertained and we even saw seven monkeys as we drove through the National Park near the end of the trip! And we were also entertained by a fantastic array of music, at top volume, so that whilst we were glad to have been given the front seats for the view and the legroom we were also deafened by our proximity to the speakers!

Anyway, we decided the journey had been well worth it, when we arrived at the Anglican Guest House and were shown to our room which overlooked a most impressive vista of Lake Kivu and beyond to the Congo the other side (see left). It took me a good few days to realise that this is in fact the same lake we have been swimming in at Gisenyi, and that it is massive and runs down the side of the country! For some reason it is much warmer by the time it gets to Cyangugu…though I can’t understand why…I suppose Cyangugu is much hotter than Ruhengeri – I think it is lower, and also seems to get less rain.

We were both exhausted when we got there, so the first proper (non-travelling) day we spent just lying in the sun outside our room, reading and admiring the view, and then going for a swim in the lake. This was quite a trek actually, because we had to go up the reception to collect a key for a massive gate which lead to a path down the hill and eventually to a jetty that you could swim off. It had been quite amusing the first day, because a boy was sent to show us how to get down to it, and also told to demonstrate how to swim!! We had explained to him that now we knew where it was, we had to go and fetch our swimming costumes, and by the time we got back he had somehow decided that we were asking for life jackets, and had managed to procure them for us! We explained that we could in fact swim, but he only seemed satisfied once I had jumped off the end of the jetty and swum half a length of the lake (well, not quite…it is immense!) It turned out that the most difficult bit was getting back out of the water – of course, two musungus swimming was of great interest, so we had a fair crowd of people around, all of whom were keen to help, but having watched Tracy having help to get out and scraping her leg up the wood as a result, I was far more keen to manage myself, and declined the outstretched arm dangling in my face!

On the second day, we walked along the road into the main town – there were beautiful lakeside views all the way along and when we got there it was like an old fishing village from a film. Everyone was hard at work, piling up coal and loading up boats. We walked further with an aim to get to the border, which we did – though we couldn’t cross it because we didn’t have our passports, not to mention the fact that an otherwise very nice man who was chatting with us, told us in no-uncertain terms that he wouldn’t let us cross because we wouldn’t be safe. So, we had coffee at the Hotel du Lac at about 10.30am, which quickly became lunch at about 11.30am – it was lovely sitting in the sun, looking at the lake, discussing our future plans (you’ll be unsurprised to learn that despite incalculable hours mulling, I am no further on with my future plans…though Rwanda is definitely a feature in them! Tracy, on the other hand, has a much clearer idea of what her future should entail…and it most certainly doesn’t involve marrying one of the many many Rwandan men that keep proposing to her – see entry entitled ‘Cattle Market’ to come.) In the evening we ate at the Guest House again, which in general served good food…although on this occasion I waited over two hours for some soup which arrived looking like someone had sneezed into a bowl… and sadly, tasting like it too. During the two hour wait we had taught the hotel manager to play cards…and it was only after several rounds of rummy that she asked had we not yet eaten…and we said we had ordered an hour and a half ago. She investigated for us and said the staff had been in a meeting…good timing we thought!!

On the third day we went on an incredibly long walk to the upper village, which was busier and less ‘quaint’ than the lower, and as a result slightly more daunting, but we pottered, ended up in a market where the smell of fish was overpowering, and then started a long hot descent down to the lower village where we had been the day before. The thought of lunch at the Hotel du Lac was the only think that kept me going, especially when the heavens opened and we were soaked by a very heavy downpour that lasted long enough to drench us from top to bottom. When we arrived at our old haunt, the hotel manager looked us up and down, and offered us a room to change in…which we declined, because as yet we are not in the habit of carrying around a change of clothes – though if the rainy season finally arrives we might have to think about it! Pam said that the rainy seasoned had arrived in Ruhengeri while we had been away, but since we have been back there hasn’t been any rain at all (not that I’m complaining!)

Our last day dawned early, if not so bright…at 5am! It was possibly the worst day of the month for me (my female friends should sympathise here…) and so not the best day for being crammed on a bus – on a back seat meant for four people with five squeezed onto it…for five hours!! There was a good half an hour - after we had all been thrown off by the police while they checked the boot for illegal monkey smuggling (we think…) and then all piled back in again - in which I only had one buttock in contact with the seat, and the other half way up the side of the bus, and my arm out of the window! Well, we made it to Kigali anyway, were met by Nathan’s brother Ebon who took us to collect our passports with renewed visas and then we mounted the bus for the last leg of the journey…I was also on my last legs by now. I should point out at this point that we had been and done a bit of shopping for Pam, and one of the items we had purchased was a lettuce in a particularly sturdy bag. I remember thinking when we bought it that it really was a ridiculously sturdy plastic bag for a lettuce, and that you could in fact keep live fish in it if necessary.

Anyway, so we were on the bus and I started to feel a bit faint, so I leant forward – I’ve never fainted in my life, so I wasn’t expecting to actually do it. Then, however, I started to feel sick…and vomiting is something that I have done in my life, and probably more times here than in the whole of the rest of my life put together! I woke up Tracy and told her to take the lettuce out of the bag, only to be asked, “You’re not seriously hungry enough to eat a lettuce leaf?” My reply filled the bag. It was a thoroughly unpleasant experience which I wish never to repeat! The bus made an unexpected stop at a toilet block where I have NEVER known them stop before…I have a feeling that news of the musungu with the bag that needed to be dropped off somewhere had reached the driver, though I can’t be sure – no-one said a word to me. Well, I was lucky enough to make it home with no further repeats, but I was very sick once I got home…which in one way was a relief, because it meant I had a bug rather than late-onset travel sickness…but in another way wasn’t because I had been so looking forward to getting home and seeing people, Pam especially, and they came round for dinner which I could not partake in. I was also confined to my bed the next day, while Tracy did all my PAing duties…she’s even tidied up all Pam’s Microsoft word files so I can’t find anything now! Ruthless efficiency wins the day…I should have got round to doing it when I had the chance!

Well, you’ll be glad to know that it only lasted 24hours and then I was right as rain – but none of you will be as glad as I was! Jill assures me that when I have lived here for twenty-five years I will have become immune to all these bugs (I very rarely get sick in England – even when I eat yoghurt that I have made myself in the airing cupboard and forgotten about for a couple of weeks so that it is almost cheese – so I cannot understand this sudden propensity to vomit!)

I have rambled on long enough, but I hope the pictures that I have punctuated the rambling with have helped you reach the end of this entry…I do promise to be shorter next time! Oh, and before you go, seeing as no-one has guessed correctly yet…here is another Dachanger Clive hint (but only a small one!):

A visitor!

You will never believe what happened this morning! I was woken by a tremendous noise which at first I thought was thunder, but then as it became a regular beating I realised it was something battering on the front gate. I leapt out of bed, and woke up Tracy…it was 6am and just starting to get light. Our first thought was that it was someone trying to get in, but apart from the fact that no-one has ever visited us at 6am before, the sound was just too loud to be being made by a human…unless he was attacking the gate with a battering ram! We found the keys and unlocked the front door, and went outside to see if we could make out what it was – we were going to call over the gate, we're always a bit wary of opening it when we can't see who is out there, especially if they sound as if they are armed with half a tree in each arm!

As we got nearer to the gate however, we could see where whatever it was had been hitting the gate with considerable force – there was a big dent and the metal was buckling. As we stood there the thing rammed into the gate again and the whole right-hand gate moved…we could see daylight between the two gates. At this point we retreated round the back of the house and I was seriously regretting not bringing my phone out with me…and in fact being outside in my pyjamas! I also wished I had brought the back door key out with me…now we had moved to the back of the house, we were too scared to go back round to the front door, in case whatever it was came in. Tracy had also grabbed hold of Dachanger Clive because he has a tendency to make a mad dash for the gate when it is open, and we weren't convince it was going to stay shut for much longer!

And we were right! Suddenly with an almighty crash the bolt gave way and the gate swung open…and standing in the gap was the most enormous elephant I have ever seen! I haven't even seen an elephant since I got here…let alone one this big! And there was no way we were going to be able to stop it marching into the garden. Once I had got over the relief of it not being an army of men with a big log come to throw us out of our house, it was really quite a magnificent sight. Now it had head-butted its way through the obstruction it moved pretty slowly and calmly (though I guess when you are that big its difficult to do otherwise). It walked nonchalantly into the garden and started to eat whatever it could lay its trunk on…which really wasn't an awful lot, seeing as Dachanger Clive has already devoured most of the garden! As it moved towards us, we moved around the back of the house and down the other side, and back round to the front, where we could get back inside the front door and lock it…just in case! On this occasion Dachanger was allowed inside the house – having spent all week trying to persuade him that this was not the case! At this point I rang Nathan to find out what on earth we were meant to do, while Tracy kept a close eye on our friend out the back! He said there really wasn't a lot we could do, except wait for it to leave – in the meantime he would call the local wildlife official, who would see about getting rid of it from the area. So we waited, and after a while, it seemed satisfied that it had eaten everything it fancied and trampled the stuff it didn't fancy…meanwhile I had got some fantastic video coverage – perhaps I'll see if I can get some onto this blog…not got high hopes though as computer has trouble recognising video camera. Then it wandered nonchalantly back out of the garden, like it had had every right to be there in the first place! And we were left wondering who was going to fix our gate! Now that is something I never predicted happening while we were here – apparently it isn't a regular occurrence by any means – Nathan says that this particular beast must have wandered down from the hills – maybe even from the Congo…he's only ever known it happen once before! We were obviously just…er…lucky!

Answers on a postcard...

There has been a mystery addition to the Tremma household! And there are two prizes going if you can guess what it is! One for the correct answer (and being first to respond with it) and one for the most original comedy answer! He is called Da Changer Clive (everyone here has a Kinyrwanda name and an English name...and so does he!) There are only two rules for guessing 1) That you mustn't be a member of the Tatnall family who has already had prior information and 2) That you mustn't be Ian Dawson who has already had prior information, all-be-it incomprehensible in Tracy-Kinyrwanda! The competition is open to anyone else and to enter please use comment page on the blog or for those of you who prefer to remain incognito to the world, by emailing hummingmoose@googlemail.com

So get your imaginations out of their boxes, shake them, dress them and poke them until they are active enough to enter! Oh, and you only have two weeks to enter...after which time a full view picture will be revealed, along with the winners of each category - as judged jointly by me, Tracy and Pam! (You need a majority of two votes!) Good luck!

PICTURES!

My good friend Hannah has requested more pictures and less dissertations...so here you go Hannah, these are for you! This was a street we walked past today - it is very Rwandan. And this orchid was just by the side of the road! In fact we have had a wonderful day today - we walked a long way, and it was amazing to really experience the landscape in a way that you just don't in a car. We took Pam out for lunch because it is Mother's Day today (as you probably know!) - they don't really celebrate it here, but Pam has looked after us so well and is already well established as Nathan's second Mother so we wanted to thank her. She has certainly become my Rwanda mother while I have been ill - and I don't know if I have told you but someone in Kenya airways asked me if I was Pam's son...and now Nathan calls me his brother!!! In truth, I think it was a language problem...but nevertheless I'm glad my hair is growing!!

You should have seen us carrying this bunch of flowers from our house to Pam's - we got them all from our garden and as we were walking there were ants crawling down my arms...we called it Interflora Tremma! Anyway, I'm not meant to be rambling, just showing pictures (sorry Hannah!)

Me me me! (And did I mention me?)

Well, this morning I have taken the last of the blue and green pills that have brightened my life considerably over the last week! I should probably explain. You may remember that some weeks ago I had that awful bout of vomiting…well after three days on that disgusting oral rehydration salt solution I began to eat again properly…if for no other reason than to stop drinking that revolting stuff! Then I developed a cough, which wasn’t bothering me too much, but wasn’t too conducive to sleep. What bothered me more was that I COMPLETELY lost my voice!!! Even more so than that time before ‘The Gondoliers’ – I actually couldn’t speak at all! The men from York all breathed a sigh of relief…it turns out that I’m much easier to ignore on paper! Actually the one time that I really really wanted to speak was when Granny Margaret phoned from York to find out how I was, and I couldn’t answer the phone! Anyway, I shouldn’t complain – its always been one of my ambitions to lose my voice – and the ambition was certainly achieved – three-fold! Then the cough started to clear up, but I began to feel very tired. Those of you who know me will know that I had that glandular-fever illness this time two years ago…and a couple of weeks ago I started to feel exactly like when I had that…which worried me somewhat. Well, I put it down to post-viral exhaustion and slept a lot…once I’d been up for an hour or two, I was more than ready for another nap – and thankfully there are beds at all the places I have to be – Sonrise has dormitories full of beds, and T-house already has two beds in it, so I was sorted (If mildly frustrated…OK – that was the understatement of the year – who wants to be sleeping in a place like this?!) I should add at this point that everyone has been very supportive of me in my sickness – the York Seven could easily have written me off as a waste of space and yet they were genuinely concerned, and Pam, Nathan and Tracy have mothered, brothered and sistered me fantastically!

Eventually Mamma Pam decided that it was time I went to the Polyclinic in Kigali – this I had managed to object to successfully for two weeks, but as the exhaustion got worse so did my powers of persuasion! When we arrived in Kigali we went to the Hospital to visit a sick girl from the school, and at the suggestion that I see one of the doctor’s there I sat in the toilet seriously contemplating mounting an escape through the window, and disappearing over the nearest hill. But sadly, the window was too small, and I would never have had the energy to climb over a molehill, let alone a mountain! It was soon decided, to my great relief, that we would have to wait much longer to see a doctor in the hospital than if we went to the Polyclinic, so that was our next port-of-call. We were ushered into our own ‘musungu’ waiting room, which felt a bit weird, but was quite a relief as there were a LOT of people in the main one. To cut a long wait short (in fact it probably wasn’t that long, but I was so nervous by this point that it felt like a few weeks…if Pam hadn’t been there holding my hand I probably would have crawled away – I’m such a bad patient – I coped with hospital and clinic with no problem when it was Pam that was ill, but when there for myself…its another story entirely!) I saw the doctor and he said very little! He did send me for a blood test though, which all went without a hitch – and was even done with a sterile needle (and no sign of a catheter being used for a tourniquet!!!)

We went for lunch – and I was amazed at being able to collect the results of the blood test within 45mins! In England when I was ill and trying to get blood tests, it would take at least a week to get an appointment with a doctor, and then probably another week to get a blood test and then at least a week before the results came through…and here I was in the heart of Africa, getting them back in under an hour! The doctor once again was a man of little words, but told me I had a “bacterial infection” – a phrase which out here seems to cover a multitude of illnesses – you’ll remember that was what Pam suffered from some time ago! He prescribed me anti-biotics, some fantastically bright pink pep pills (brufen!) and VALIUM!!!!!!!!! Now this was the biggest surprise, and amused me greatly! The whole day cost us a fortune, but the valium was the cheapest bit of it (The equivalent of £40 later I’m thinking the NHS has got a lot going for it!) What amused me was the fact that I told him I was having absolutely no trouble sleeping – in fact quite the opposite and here he was prescribing me a sedative – and no small amount either. After consultation with my nurse Grandma I discovered that 10mg was the strongest you could be prescribed in England, and usually people are given 2mg or 5mg, and that if I took it, it would probably knock me out…so I decided against it.

However, I have been threatened with it on many occasions since – particularly now I’ve started feeling better – Tracy regularly threatens to administer it to me just to shut me up! I’m thinking I’ll save it in case we need it on the trek…when a lion is charging at me I’ll just throw it with astonishing aim right into its gullet whereupon it will lie down quietly for a sleep in my lap…you know those pink pills…I think they’re having an effect on my imagination – it’s probably a good thing that today I’m coming off them, but I’m a bit concerned about the withdrawal symptoms.

Well, anyway I am well on the way to recovery, and I think that is probably enough about me!!!!! For those of you who know Tracy and are reading this to find out what she’s up to…I’m sorry to disappoint! For the benefit of Tracy’s sister in particular, her considered highlight out of the last three weeks has been “the peace and quiet provided by Emma’s long term illness”. Well, thanks for that Trace!

I promise that the next blog entry will be far more about Rwanda and less about me me me! Though it could have been worse – just be glad that I haven’t filled you in on the workings of my defacatory organs…